Tuesday 30 October 2007
Brothers
We had a busy week last week as my brother and his partner were over from Boston (USA) where he now lives. We had a great week playing with my nephews (who live here in the UK with his ex-wife) and catching up. I really miss him as I only see him twice a year now and with all the kids around we don't get much time to really talk properly. He likes outdoor stuff like me - hiking, biking, sailing and is thinking about taking up kayaking. He was telling me all about Boston and the fact that in the summer you have all the wonderful coastline and in the winter you are a short drive to the mountains for skiing. Jealous - me? Of course. All that wilderness on your doorstep plus snowy winters and hot summers. Mind you he works so hard ( a doctor in emergency medicine) that he only gets the odd weekend and two weeks a year holidays. Not much time for all that wonderful scenery and when he is on holiday he comes to the UK to see his kids. I met his partner Anne for the first time and she is lovely - really lovely. I just wished they lived closer so I could get to know her better.
I was thinking about siblings and how important they are. I have loved having a brother. We fought like cat and dog when we were kids but I have always appreciated his company. I think that is what I want Alex to have a sibling. I was quite happy to have only one child as I thought he is such a great kid I would be tempting fate to ask for another! But then I thought about how much it means to be part of a family, to have siblings around especially as your parents get elderly. There is someone there who is still part of your past, who really knows you, who shared much of your life with you. I have friends who are only children who are in the process of losing one or both parents and they tell me how desperately sad it is to lose all contact with your past and that it is a very lonely feeling.
I am 9 weeks tomorrow. Off for my first blood test tonight, doctors appointment on Thursday and scan in 3 weeks time. Still feeling sick as a dog - a cross between flu and sea-sick is the best description I can come up with. However every time I feel slightly better I feel terrified that I am having another miscarriage.
Alex and I are taking a look round his pre-school group and primary school tomorrow so will post about that shortly. Plus one of my closest friends is having her baby tomorrow by c-section - halloween parties for that little one!
I was thinking about siblings and how important they are. I have loved having a brother. We fought like cat and dog when we were kids but I have always appreciated his company. I think that is what I want Alex to have a sibling. I was quite happy to have only one child as I thought he is such a great kid I would be tempting fate to ask for another! But then I thought about how much it means to be part of a family, to have siblings around especially as your parents get elderly. There is someone there who is still part of your past, who really knows you, who shared much of your life with you. I have friends who are only children who are in the process of losing one or both parents and they tell me how desperately sad it is to lose all contact with your past and that it is a very lonely feeling.
I am 9 weeks tomorrow. Off for my first blood test tonight, doctors appointment on Thursday and scan in 3 weeks time. Still feeling sick as a dog - a cross between flu and sea-sick is the best description I can come up with. However every time I feel slightly better I feel terrified that I am having another miscarriage.
Alex and I are taking a look round his pre-school group and primary school tomorrow so will post about that shortly. Plus one of my closest friends is having her baby tomorrow by c-section - halloween parties for that little one!
Monday 22 October 2007
Stockholm Photos
In lieu of anything interesting to say I am posting some photos from our trip to Stockholm in June.
My Weekend
Feeling very very sick and very very tired at the moment - I guess at almost 8 weeks my symptoms have really started to kick in. Hence a quick resume type post is about all I can manage this morning.
My Weekend:
Friday night: first night out since December 2006 (yes I can't believe it either) - dinner with my three closest girlfriends. Lovely. Got home at 11.30 pm and almost keeled over with tiredness.
Saturday morning: a walk around Hatfield Forest and Alex fed the ducks and ate an ice cream.
Saturday afternoon: an afternoon nap.
Saturday evening: I watched Amelie again. I had forgotten just how much I love this film. I love the music, the oddball characters, the tiny details, the colours, the romance, the narrator - just everything about it. It is a perfectly crafted jewel. I have a Very Long Engagement on DVD on loan which is made by the same team but I still haven't manage to stay awake long enough to watch it. (I am going to bed ridiculously early these days)
Sunday morning: breakfast and the papers and playing village building with Alex.
Sunday afternoon: visiting my parents house and meeting up with my brother over from Boston for the week and my darling nephews Tom and Hamish. Telling the family our good news. Even though it's early days it seems I would rather they knew after all.
Sunday evening: early to bed with Sebastien Faulks new novel Human Traces. Lights out by 9pm!
My Weekend:
Friday night: first night out since December 2006 (yes I can't believe it either) - dinner with my three closest girlfriends. Lovely. Got home at 11.30 pm and almost keeled over with tiredness.
Saturday morning: a walk around Hatfield Forest and Alex fed the ducks and ate an ice cream.
Saturday afternoon: an afternoon nap.
Saturday evening: I watched Amelie again. I had forgotten just how much I love this film. I love the music, the oddball characters, the tiny details, the colours, the romance, the narrator - just everything about it. It is a perfectly crafted jewel. I have a Very Long Engagement on DVD on loan which is made by the same team but I still haven't manage to stay awake long enough to watch it. (I am going to bed ridiculously early these days)
Sunday morning: breakfast and the papers and playing village building with Alex.
Sunday afternoon: visiting my parents house and meeting up with my brother over from Boston for the week and my darling nephews Tom and Hamish. Telling the family our good news. Even though it's early days it seems I would rather they knew after all.
Sunday evening: early to bed with Sebastien Faulks new novel Human Traces. Lights out by 9pm!
Tuesday 16 October 2007
The Call of the Wild
I have a terrible hankering to be in the wilderness somewhere. A desperate longing in fact. I want to stand on a mountain or hillside and look at a sweeping view. I want to look at miles of space and not see any sign of human habitation. I want to see forest and lakes. I want that feeling of awe and freedom it gives you. I want to feel the earth, smell the rain, hear the silence and wonder at the power of nature. To be surrounded by the raw elements.
I feel hemmed in by suburbia even though I live in a rural village. It's too tame, too busy, too crowded. I live in the South East of England within 50 miles of London and there definitely isn't any wilderness anywhere near here. Nor any within driving distance. Even our recent trip to North Norfolk which did have some wild elements has not satisfied my longing. I would love to move to Canada, The Pacific Northwest, North East USA or New Zealand and live in a log cabin on a farm somewhere but I am too close to my family to even contemplate moving so far away.
We are planning on moving next Spring as they are building two houses on an old garden right next to ours and we feel very crowded and overlooked. It is bad enough being in a cul-de-sac but at least being at the end we had some space. Not anymore. Our garden is so small (20ft x 30ft) it doesn't really offer that sense of outdoor space that I need. I dream of finding a detached cottage with a big garden and no neighbours to feel some of that sense of nature around me. However in this area they are waaaaaay beyond our tiny budget. In fact anything decent is beyond us. But a large garden is my number one priority followed by a rural / isolated location. Maybe we should try buying a plot of land and a caravan! It would suit me but I'm not sure hubby would agree.
I was looking at Amanda's beautiful photos of Maine on Soule Mama and I am deeply envious. Maine looks truly beautiful. I don't care that it snows all winter, I love snow and they have lovely hot summers! I am really jealous of the sense of space they have. The forests, national parks, coastline and mountains.
I love American literature and especially books about small town America (a la Garrison Keillor) or the wilderness. I read Call of the Wild and White Fang by Jack London when I was a kid and loved them. And Little House on the Prairie of course. Nowadays I adore anything by Annie Proulx and also the Border Trilogy by Cormac McCarthy. At the moment I am part of the way through Dee Brown's Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee - about the genocide of the Native American Indians. It's excellent and deeply moving.
So for the moment I guess I'll just have to keep getting my fix of wilderness through my books.
Tuesday 9 October 2007
Vroom Vroom
Alex is just crazy about cars - to the point where he takes one to bed at night and kisses it tenderly good night. My brother warned me about the joys of having a car crazy son as one of my nephews is also car crazy. He now knows more about tractors and fire engines than most farmers and firemen! I have lots of nice wooden farms and villages and blocks and they all end up populated by fire engines and trucks rather than animals or people! So finally I decided since he isn't keen on dolls or stuffed animals I would make him a cuddly car to snuggle up to in bed. I did a bit of a rush job on it (whilst Alex napped one lunch hour) so it's not great. I do kind of like its homespun look even though I really do have to work on my embroidery skills. It's made from a thrifted flannel sheet which is so soft and so far it's not been flung out of his bed yet.
Happy October
Happy October to you.
It's turning out to be a happy October for me. I had a great time in Norfolk last week (we changed our minds about Southwold at the last minute!) and we were incredibly lucky with the weather. It was a week of walking on the beach, tucking into giant pub lunches, building sandcastles, exploring saltwater creeks, listening to migrating geese flying overhead in huge formations and enjoying each others company.
I turn 38 tomorrow and I have much to be happy about - a wonderful son, a home in a lovely village, my health, my friends, my hubbie, my parents in good health and living nearby, a job I enjoy, lots of creative hobbies and much more besides.
And better still......... I'm pregnant!
6 weeks tomorrow. The best birthday present ever! You should have seen me dancing round the room when I saw that second pink line appear. You guys are the only people I have told so far apart from hubbie. I am hoping and praying that this little one makes it but in the light of past events we have decided to keep it a secret till we get to 12 weeks. Our families were so upset by the last miscarriage that we don't want to put them through that again. Although I am not sure I can keep something of this magnitude quiet for that long! I am rubbish at lying to people so if someone asks me directly I will probably spill the beans anyway. And considering I get quite sick I think someone might just notice. Anyway we are delighted if somewhat nervous about it. Happy and terrified in equal measures.
It's turning out to be a happy October for me. I had a great time in Norfolk last week (we changed our minds about Southwold at the last minute!) and we were incredibly lucky with the weather. It was a week of walking on the beach, tucking into giant pub lunches, building sandcastles, exploring saltwater creeks, listening to migrating geese flying overhead in huge formations and enjoying each others company.
I turn 38 tomorrow and I have much to be happy about - a wonderful son, a home in a lovely village, my health, my friends, my hubbie, my parents in good health and living nearby, a job I enjoy, lots of creative hobbies and much more besides.
And better still......... I'm pregnant!
6 weeks tomorrow. The best birthday present ever! You should have seen me dancing round the room when I saw that second pink line appear. You guys are the only people I have told so far apart from hubbie. I am hoping and praying that this little one makes it but in the light of past events we have decided to keep it a secret till we get to 12 weeks. Our families were so upset by the last miscarriage that we don't want to put them through that again. Although I am not sure I can keep something of this magnitude quiet for that long! I am rubbish at lying to people so if someone asks me directly I will probably spill the beans anyway. And considering I get quite sick I think someone might just notice. Anyway we are delighted if somewhat nervous about it. Happy and terrified in equal measures.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
