Peekaboo

WIP

I have a new WIP at long last.


The creative vibe has just deserted me completely since I became pregnant. I seem to be concentrating on nurturing rather than creating. Plus I am completely worn out by the end of the day. But I have managed to pick up some knitting. I am terrible at knitting and I really need to learn how to do it properly but I do enjoy the basic clicking of needles and the end result and that's enough for me. This is a scarf for Alex then I will do one for Chris but with better wool and bigger needles. I also still have Alex's crochet stripey blanket to finish but that's still languishing in a heap at the bottom of my wardrobe as it's only about 4 inches long so far. It's knowing I have another 3 feet to do that puts me off!

Pre-school has started

Alex made his first biscuits this week - at his own request. Delicious!


So Alex started pre-school playgroup on Monday. He is going to go just one morning a week to start with and then maybe two when he is more settled. I stayed with him all morning but kept hidden in the corner so he got involved with everyone else. He was very quiet at first but soon started to join in and enjoy himself. I know he likes socialising with lots of other kids so I think he will be fine. As he only came over once to say hello and didn't seem to miss me at all I am going to try coming home and leaving him next week. It was an emotional experience though. I don't know if it's the pregnancy hormones or mummy love but I was almost in tears on several occasions. I was very close to not enrolling him at all but now that our other playgroup has finished I thought it was important for him to find another one to join. I do think socialising kids is good as they learn so many life lessons (hopefully the nice ones like sharing) - I am just less keen on the leaving him. Although that's more about me than him. And the playgroup is nice - they try and teach them to sit still when told and wash their hands before eating and to play nicely etc.

I still think that 4 is far to young to start school though. Alex will only just have turned 4 as he is a summer baby. Some areas dont start till January for the summer babies and some do part time hours only for the younger kids. I am tempted to start him after he turns 5 as this is the legal requirement but it depends if he has friends going at the same time or not. And I still hanker after the idea of homeschooling. I am going to do much more research about it first. I think since we live near to Cambridge there will be a good homeschooling community there. It just depends if I can persuade Chris and we can afford me not to go back to work.

***Edited to add: Well this week (28 Jan) I left Alex on his own for the first time in his life with someone other than his grandparents or father. And he was fine. He ran into school and got stuck in straight away and he was fine according to the teachers/playgroup leaders (not sure what to call them!). It might all change of course - he might decide he doesn't like it or he might get more clingy in other situations but at the moment he seems fine. To me it seems like a huge development as he still seems so young. But I do think learning to play in a group and socialise is very important and the stimulation he gets is excellent so it's worth me getting all teary about it! ***

It's going to be a ...............................

.........................................................................girl!

So the 20 week ultrasound went well last week and all is looking OK. Chris and I were terrified beforehand after our last experience in the ultrasound department but after 45 minutes (we had a trainee) and then a further 5 minute wait while they inputted the measurements - they came back to say all was well. Pheweeee. We sighed a huge sigh of relief and then started grinning from ear to ear. I am still nervous that something will go wrong. I know too many sad stories not too but at least thus far things are looking good.

And we found out we are having a girl. I am very pleased because it's nice to have one of each but in a weird way I was also kind of sad to say goodbye to the little boy I had in my head (which is why I had to find out - I was worried about getting too attached to the idea it was one or the other and then being wrong). I know I won't be having any more so I had to let go the idea of having another boy. And because I am used to having a boy it seems weird having a girl. But I am very happy indeed.

And even more happy for my mum who after 3 grandsons was very keen for a girl especially as this will be her last grandchild. We decided to tell her by buying a dress and hiding it in a bag for her to pull out. Except I bought a blue dress so it took a while for it to sink in it was a dress and therefore a girl! I have a real aversion to pink and sparkly things - I have always been a tomboy - so I am trying to spread the word for when the time comes. I don't normally buy anything for the baby this early on but I thought it would be a fun way to announce the news to my family!

On other baby news my next door neighbour had her little boy 6 weeks early last week. She has placenta previa so it was on the cards but the little thing was tiny - under 4lbs so he has been in an incubator for the past 10 days. The good news is he got out yesterday and is now feeding every 3 hours and putting on the weight at long last. My poor friend is stuck in hospital though and has missed her son's 4th birthday and is desperate to get home and start being a family. Hopefully it will be very soon. I can't wait to spend the summer sitting outside chatting with the boys playing footie and the babies chilling out under the tree.

A week in photos

Fairy Cakes

Alex spent a day last week at his best friend Hannah's house making fairy cakes for the first time.
It was so sweet watching them both stirring and icing and sprinkling away with gusto. He did everything himself except put them in the oven. He was so proud of the end result and so was I.

Pregnancy Update - 20 weeks

As I haven't said much about this pregnancy for a while - here's a quick update.

No bump photos yet as I am just at that stage where I look like I overindulged at Christmas rather than having a proper bump. Or maybe it's just that my bump is well disguised by a layer of plumpness! And winter jumpers and coats etc. Anyway no neat photogenic bump just yet.

I started feeling some movement finally around the 18 weeks mark which is late for a second child but then it was the same with Alex so who knows. I might have another anterior placenta again which doesnt help.

Tomorrow we reach the 20 week half way mark (already!) and we are having our big scan. I feel nervous to know everything is alright and very excited as we are going to find out the sex.
I am one of the camp that needs to know beforehand. I like to bond with the baby in utero and I find it more real if I know who I am talking to - if that makes sense. Also I dont want to go down the road of imagining it is one thing when it turns out to be the other. And I think it will be easier to explain the concept to Alex if he knows its a brother or sister not just a baby. I dont mind what I have so long as they are healthy and happy. We will tell Alex afterwards. We have talked a bit about brothers and sisters in general and that a baby is growing in Mummy's tummy but we haven't really pushed it yet as its a bit difficult with nothing to make it seem real yet.

I am having that weird conflicting emotion of thinking how can I possibly love another child as much as I love Alex. I think it's common with a second child and I am not really worried it's just weird imagining how it can be possible. Before I had Alex my heart was empty and longing for a child and then he came along and filled it up in more ways than I could have imagined. It doesn't feel like there is any room to spare now. But I am sure I will fall madly in love - just like last time. Being a mother has been the absolutely best thing that ever happened to me and more wonderful than I ever imagined. It's intoxicating. So I am looking forward to spreading that love around more and sharing our life with another little one.

Only another 20 weeks to go.....