As I haven't said much about this pregnancy for a while - here's a quick update.
No bump photos yet as I am just at that stage where I look like I overindulged at Christmas rather than having a proper bump. Or maybe it's just that my bump is well disguised by a layer of plumpness! And winter jumpers and coats etc. Anyway no neat photogenic bump just yet.
I started feeling some movement finally around the 18 weeks mark which is late for a second child but then it was the same with Alex so who knows. I might have another anterior placenta again which doesnt help.
Tomorrow we reach the 20 week half way mark (already!) and we are having our big scan. I feel nervous to know everything is alright and very excited as we are going to find out the sex.
I am one of the camp that needs to know beforehand. I like to bond with the baby in utero and I find it more real if I know who I am talking to - if that makes sense. Also I dont want to go down the road of imagining it is one thing when it turns out to be the other. And I think it will be easier to explain the concept to Alex if he knows its a brother or sister not just a baby. I dont mind what I have so long as they are healthy and happy. We will tell Alex afterwards. We have talked a bit about brothers and sisters in general and that a baby is growing in Mummy's tummy but we haven't really pushed it yet as its a bit difficult with nothing to make it seem real yet.
I am having that weird conflicting emotion of thinking how can I possibly love another child as much as I love Alex. I think it's common with a second child and I am not really worried it's just weird imagining how it can be possible. Before I had Alex my heart was empty and longing for a child and then he came along and filled it up in more ways than I could have imagined. It doesn't feel like there is any room to spare now. But I am sure I will fall madly in love - just like last time. Being a mother has been the absolutely best thing that ever happened to me and more wonderful than I ever imagined. It's intoxicating. So I am looking forward to spreading that love around more and sharing our life with another little one.
Only another 20 weeks to go.....
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2 comments:
Ruth - I'll hazard a guess that everyone goes through those doubts about loving a second child as much as a first - don't worry! I read somewhere how to explain it to the first child - Mummy and Daddy are sent another big load of love as big as the first to give to Baby#2 and to be honest for me with #s 2 & 3 that's exactly how it felt - you'll be absolutely fine (((hugs))) although your concerns are perfectly understandable
Half way already...how exciting...it is amazing where the love come from, but it comes...Plus its the best gift you will ver give your little one a little brother or sister...how amazing!
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