Down on the Farm

We are very lucky in that Chris's sister and her family live on a small farm just under an hour away from us. She has lots of animals and rears her own pigs and chickens as well as growing her own veg. They also have horses, dogs, cats, doves, fish and a rabbit. Alex just loves it there as there is plenty of land to run around on, his older cousins to play with and lots of animals to visit. They live in a farmhouse perched on a hill in Suffolk with sweeping views from all sides. I love visiting there because it's really my dream to live somewhere like that and this way I get to do it for an afternoon here and there. We also some great chats about homegrown food and raising children and cooking. She is a fabulous cook - we had her hand reared pork at the weekend with home grown veg and home baked bread and butter pudding. The meat was delicious and all the better for having been humanely reared and despatched as all meat really should be.

I am so glad Alex has a chance to grow up near to his cousins and our extended family and to be able to experience a farm based lifestyle at first hand. I want him to learn where our food comes from and how important it is. I want him to learn about animal welfare and to be engaged with animals rather than scared of them (he's not but I know a lot of kids that are). I want him to learn responsibility through caring for animals and the land around us. I think these basic and natural lessons engage the child and teach them a lot about life and the world around them but in a way that interests them and that has meaning for them. Especially at this young age when I really feel that practical learning is far more important than classroom learning (but that's just my opinion!).

I am troubled whenever I read about the problems with today's society where everything seems to be about furnishing the economy and not about the people or our community. I worry terribly about our unhappy and old-before-their-time children (especially the way everything is about a shallow culture of looks and possessions). I have my doubts about the school system and the effect of peer pressure on my kids. It was bad enough it my day but I think it is far worse now. The more I think about it all the more I want to run away to the hills and bring my kids up on a self sufficient smallholding miles away from anywhere. I don't want them to grow up in the electronic age I want them to be wild and free and outside. I want them to be muddy and rosy cheeked and adventurous and at the same time independent, responsible, kind and educated. I believe it is possible to raise your kids that way and I know that the blogs I enjoy reading the most have a similar ethos. I just hope that financial pressures don't mean that we can never achieve this kind of lifestyle for our kids. All it would take right now to start would be a bigger garden and for me to continue working part time if possible - if not give up all together. Some say I have an overly romantic or nostalgic idea of life but I think we should aspire to live a certain way and not just settle for the norm just because it suits everyone else.

Snow Day

At last we had a day of snow on Easter Sunday. I have been looking forward to going out with Alex to play in the snow all winter and at the beginning of Spring we finally got some snow. Just a few centimetres and it was gone by the evening but it was enough to play snowball, make a snowman and play some games. My favourite thing about snow is the hush that descends - it is so quiet and peaceful and everything including the ugly building site next door is covered in that pretty blanket of white for a while. The light was grey and overcast so it wasn't exactly the sparking snow day of my dreams but it was enough to feel like we had a proper winter.

Not quite spring yet

Not quite spring yet, but almost there. Still cold and wet and possible snow to come but at least the flowers are here.

Soon it will be Easter and the great village Easter Egg Hunt. Alex has been making Easter cards and easter egg baskets and pre-school.

Pregnancy Update:I am 30 weeks pregnant and enormous already. Little Baby Sister is doing well and moving lots. Alex has been very sweet and kissing the bump on a regular basis as well as shouting "hello" loudly at it! I feel fine - apart from a few of the usual aches and pains - but I am being driven to distraction by the health service at the moment. I have been trying to obtain my blood test results from almost 8 weeks ago to check that I don't need any iron supplements. Can my midwife find them - no. I asked her to hunt them down and post them to me and instead she sends me forms to request new tests. I go to my GP and ask for them but she tells me I didnt have the full blood count done. Which is rubbish as I know I did as I discussed it with them when they were taking the 6 vials of blood. And then when I ask her to follow it up she rushes off to take a private phone call and doesn't bother to finish the conversation with me! I finally manage to speak to the phlebotomist who tells me if something was wrong the hospital would have contacted me. Which is also rubbish as they never contact me about anything at all. Between the hospital, the midwife and the GP none of them appear to have a clue what's going on and who is doing what. I finally managed to speak to another phlebotomist who did track down my results and has printed them off for me to collect. But I have to make another GP appointment to discuss them - again. Sigh. Also I have to spend a couple of hours at the hospital this week doing a GTT test even though I don't have Gestational diabetes because I had such a big baby last time. Which I have explained is genetic as my m-i-l had big babies but it seems they aren't paying much attention to me (just like last time!). It really doesn't give me much confidence in the whole system at all.

And I had such a traumatic labour and delivery with Alex (you really really don't want to know the details) that ended in an emergency c section and emergency blood transfusion that I think we will be booking in for a planned c section this time. At least I might be able to gain a tiny bit of control over the whole process. But of course my consultant despite having read my horror story is still trying to get me to do a Vbac.

So 8 or 9 weeks to go........tick tock.

Vegetable Box Schemes

I have been using good old Abel and Cole for a while now as my veg box delivery service. I get a mixed box of fruit and veg once a fortnight and I really enjoy the challenge of making new recipes from the unusual things I get. Today I think I am going to tackle a red cabbage coleslaw which I have never made but must be very easy- I think. I have been trying to increase my daily fruit and veg intake (and the rest of the family's) and the box makes it much easier. I seem to crave nothing but toast and chocolate for this pregnancy which is none too healthy! I hate waste and I make sure we finish everything off before the next box arrives. We have been having lots of vegetarian pasta bakes, vegetarian couscous and lots of yummy fruit salads and it does inspire me to try new things as well. It also means we get a lot more variety and Alex is introduced to a bigger range of flavours than he is used to. However my friend N. has found a new delivery company that specialise in organic produce but just from the local area to here. Organic meat, veg, flours and bread. I am going to change over because I tried for years to find a local company to deliver that had a good range as well and finally we have one! And this one specialises in mediterranean vegetables - my favourite food.

I would of course dearly love to grow my own and I have a long held dream of being self sufficient one day. I need to move to a place with a bit more garden first so in the meantime I dream. I did plan to get an allotment a while back but gave up on the idea when I started to try getting pregnant again. I had a lot of vegetables growing in pots on my patio last summer but they got washed away in the torrential rain we had last summer and the rest got eaten by the plague of slugs we had as a result. I managed to harvest a handful of peas, a handful of strawberries and some lettuce leaves. So I think we need a good vegetable box.

New play table

I have been wanting to create a play area or table for Alex for a while but not really done much about it till now. He is at the age where he likes to create little scenarios and prefers standing up to making them on the floor. I noticed him gravitating to playing on tables etc at pre-school recently so decided that now was the time to get on with it. I braved Ikea (why do I always go only when heavily pregnant??) and bought a Lack coffee table for £11.50 and some cardboard boxes (4 for £10) and hey presto a new play table with some storage for his toys underneath. It doesn't take up much room and it can be used as a grown up coffee table when he is too old to need a play table. I sorted out his toys into boxes: cooking and food, wooden blocks, lego blocks and cardboard boxes and tubes (for making things) and they all get stored underneath. His paper and art stuff slots down at the back next to the wall and out of sight. All very neat and tidy (essential in a small house!).

Happy Mothers Day

Spring is almost here - daffodils are cheering me along.

The longest and most beautiful swing I have ever seen.


Purple red and yellow.


My day - Pain au chocolat and orange juice for breakfast:time to read the Sunday papers: tulips from my boys: phone calls to the Grandmothers: walking in a local garden all overgrown and romantic: a sunny picnic: swinging Alex under a lebanese cedar pine: spring is in the air: home to a fire and playing games: a Sunday roast cooked by Chris: bathtime: apple crumble and ice cream all round: early to bed with a cup of hot chocolate and a good book: watching my bump wriggle all over the place and dreaming of my little girl to be: Being a mother - just bliss.

Remembering my good friend B who lost her mother and best friend last year.

I love being a mother. It wasn't something I ever really wanted as I preferred travelling and being footloose and fancy free to domestic bliss. Then my first nephew was born (on my side of the family) and he had my mother's eyes. And something just clicked and I knew that that was what I wanted. I was terribly broody for a long time. I wanted a child when I was 30 and I finally managed to have my son a few months before turning 36. I used to cry at babies in supermarkets and gaze longingly at bumps and strollers. It was heartbreaking for a long long time.

The first few years were taken up with trying to find a job that didn't involve 4 hours daily commuting (just across London!) and then working for a year in a new job to get my maternity allowance. To then have that job move across London and being back to a 4 hour commute again! Finally after 2 years of this to-ing and fro-ing I managed to wangle a position working from home and we could begin. Only it then took us 3 years and many tests to finally get pregnant and stay pregnant. I thinking having to wait so long and having a tough time getting to motherhood has made me appreciate it so very much. And I feel lucky in that as not everyone gets to feel that way. I knew it was what my heart desired and I was one of the lucky ones who managed to get there in the end. Not everyone does and for them Mothers Day must be a terribly cruel day to celebrate.

When I had Alex I was on a total rush of maternal love. I had an incredible mummy high and it has never gone away to this day. I look at my son and my heart skips a beat. I watch his dark eyelashes curl on his cheeks when he sleeps. I watch him laugh and giggle every day and he makes me feel ridiculously happy. I miss him like crazy when I don't see him for a couple of hours. I have never spent the night apart from him. He makes me laugh every day. He makes me melt every day. Yesterday when I came downstairs with the washing he said: "Mummy I love you. You are the best mummy in the whole world". He is 2 and 1/2 yrs old! I can't get enough of him. His twinkly hazel eyes, his quizzical eyebrows, his chuckle, his cute little legs, his freshly shampooed hair, his sweet nature, his love of playing with his friends, his cries of "chase me chase me", the delight he gets from jumping up and down on our bed. He is so good natured and loving and happy. I love you too Pickle. You make me the happiest Mummy in the world.

And as for my mother - I am very lucky. She is my role model and I love her to bits. She is warm, loving, caring, chatty, fun, friendly, kind, a fantastic cook, seamsmistress and homemaker. I had a very loving and happy childhood and I hope that I manage to re-create that for my kids. As with all mothers she can drive me potty at times and we do have different ideas about the world but at the same time I know we are scarily alike. She is also the best grandmother a child could have and for that I am doubly blessed. Thanks Mum - I love you too!