Thank you Susie and Anne!

Thank you Susie and Anne for your kind comments and being the first to read my blog. It made my day to find someone had found it and enjoyed it. I have read both yours and am very impressed by your sewing skills. As a newbie on the sewing front I have a lot to learn but I am very inspired by all the wonderful blogs out there. I'm off on holiday for a week but will be back soon. Thanks again and have a good week!

Ah Southwold

Southwold, Suffolk is one of my favourite places for a short break by the sea at any time of the year. Chris and I came here in with Alex when he was 12 weeks old on his first ever holiday. It holds lots of special memories of that time (he started sleeping through the night that week!) We have also come here for our anniversary which is in December and enjoyed the pre Christmas atmosphere with twinkly lights, log fires in the pub, and of course fish and chips on the pier watching the waves lash the sides. The only trouble with Southwold is it is too popular! Having won Britain's favourite sea side town this year and having been popular with the Guardian/Boden set for a while ( I read the Guardian and would love to be able to afford Boden - so I guess I mean us!) it gets over run at weekends throughout the summer. We tend to go out of season and even then it can get so busy you can't find a parking space.I do love it so. It has quaint victorian cottages, a lighthouse, Adnams Brewery, cosy pubs, tea rooms, lots of open green space, a revitalised pier, a thriving art scene (Serena Hall is a favourite), cute shops and a lovely beach. You can cross the river to Walberswick in a small rowing boat (the local ferry) and go crabbing with buckets. There are rows of brightly coloured beach huts (which I lust after) and you can walk for miles along the beach. So I will be on a blogging break next week as it's my birthday (38 argh!) and we are off to Southwold again for a week's fun at the seaside. Back soon!

A Family Portrait

I don't know about you but I have never managed to get a decent family portrait done. I take all the photos in the family and when I ask someone else to take a picture they never focus properly or zoom in etc. This is the best family photo we have. I guess I ought to shell out some money and get one done by a professional sometime. I have seen an advert in a magazine by a company that does outdoor portraits somewhere in North Norfolk. I think that sounds more my cup of tea than a formal studio portrait. Pity I can't remember their name.

Hanging on to summer

Autumn may be here but I am hanging on to summer for as long as I can. These are the last of the flowers in the garden and while they still live it's still officially summer at my house. We have been spending as much time outdoors as possible over the past two weeks. It's actually been much drier and sunnier, if a bit chilly, in September than it was for most of the summer. I have been taking photos of every last glimpse of blue sky I see desperate to hold on to the sunshine.I took Alex on a "Get to Know your Footpaths Day" organised in our village at the weekend. It was great fun meeting lots of other parents and a good excuse to get out for the day. We walked for about 2 hours and Alex walked most of the way despite his little legs. We managed a bit of blackberry picking en route and visited the Crump earthworks - an ancient pre-historic mound just outside the village (one of the advantages of having a friend married to a history teacher!). In the end it was three families who walked together as we had the youngest and slowest children and we had a really nice time.

Our village is such a wonderful place to live. It is very small with no facilities apart from a village hall but the people are very sociable and enjoy organising regular events from harvest suppers to midsummer balls to barn dances and pub quizzes. Most people who move here never leave and houses rarely come up for sale. We have lived here three years now and I have to say it is probably the nicest place I have ever lived. It may not be the most picturesque but it is definitely the most friendly.

If you go down to the woods today....

..you'll find Alex and me hanging out under the trees and feeding the ducks. Chris was away in Amsterdam at a gig at the weekend so Alex and I had time to just potter about and enjoy each others company. This past weekend was gorgeous. The sun was shining, there was a fresh breeze (autumn is on the way) and the light had that clear blue intensity that you get in the winter.

Alex and I went to feed the ducks down at the old ford in a nearby village on Saturday morning and in the afternoon we made banana loaf together before heading down the lane for another walk. We spent the evening listening for owls and we even saw a fox cross the field at dusk. The fox is now called Olga after the fox in Cluck O Clock. On Sunday morning it was a quick trip to a local car boot sale for some wooden toys (see previous posts). In the late afternoon we went to the forest for a long walk around the lake, some monkeying about in the trees and some more duck feeding.

I love these weekends. I am happiest when I am outside somewhere wild and peaceful. I think Alex is the same.

Current Sources of Inspiration

Amy Karol's Bend the Rules Sewing. This just arrived at the weekend. Wow. This book is the one I have been looking for. Great sewing tips for us beginners, loads of pretty and quick projects, easy to follow instructions and gorgeous photos and design. I think this will be living on my bedside table forever.

Jeu de Paume's Stockholm Apartments. I bought this when I was in Stockholm in June visiting my friend Tine who lives in an apartment just like the ones in the book. I adore Stockholm and we are planning another trip to Sweden next year - this time with more coast and mountains. (I'm saving my story about Stockholm for a rainy day post!)

Japanese Book from Superbuzzy featuring little houses. Quilts, bags, tea cosies, cushions - all gorgeous.

Another baby block

This one is for my nephew Edward who is due any day now.

Some more great thrift finds

And now for something on a lighter note.... I went to two car boot sales these past two weekends and scored some great finds. Lots of cheap fabric for me (sheets and curtains) and lots of wooden toys for Alex (on my mission to replace all his plastic toys with wood).

Infertility and me

Just to show it's not all sweetness and light around here I will talk about something that has been a huge part of my life for the last 5 years. Infertility.

We spent almost 3 years actively trying to have a baby. They were three very long very sad years. I saw what felt like hundreds of friends, family and work colleagues having babies whilst I remained babyless. I struggled with terrible bump envy and often I would have to cut short a shopping trip because I was crying having seen a little baby in a stroller. The jealousy and rage were terrible. The primeval urge to have a baby is a hugely powerful one - it completely controlled my life for those three years. It was all I thought about and I spent hours online researching fertility and reading infertility blogs.

We had various tests and were on the waiting list to have further intrusive tests at the local hospital (a two year waiting list - argh!) when I finally got pregnant in June 2004. After more than 36 long long months I was over the moon. I stayed pregnant for 11 joyous but nausea laden weeks before miscarrying at home. And then I entered the blackest period of my life when I just couldn't get past the anger and the total panic that I would never have a child. No one apart from my parents and Chris really understood how huge the loss was. I wanted people to commiserate on my losing a long awaited baby not just suffering a miscarriage (such a meaningless word in my opionion). I had, for a short while, a baby in my belly and the dream of who they would be. And all of sudden a huge void where that little person had been. And nothing at all to remember them by apart from their brief presence in my life.

And then a few months later the most amazing miracle - I got pregnant again. However instead of being overjoyed I was terrified it would happen again. Every day I ticked off as we crawled towards the 12 week period. I was terribly nauseaous all over again making it almost 6 months in one year where I had been sick! I had a reassurance scan at 8 weeks but I still didn't believe things would be OK. I made it to 12 weeks and let out just a small sigh of relief only to have things go awry when the nuchal fold scan showed an enlarged fold. We were right on the cut off line for having an amnio so I had to make a decision and quickly. I decided not to have the amnio being terrified of losing another baby. Even though the percentage chance is tiny it is a possibility and just I couldn't take the risk.

Then at 42 weeks, a hideous induced labour, emergency c-section, blood transfusion etc (now there's a story for another day...) my giant 10lb 9oz baby boy arrived safe and sound. I have never been so happy in my life. Despite an awful time in the hospital I was ready to do it all again immediately. I was so in love with him I wanted to start trying for another one almost straight away and I knew then that I wanted loads more kids. However the told me to wait a year for my scar to heal so wait we did.

So a year passed and it was the best year of my life with my darling boy. However the broodiness started to kick in again and the more we thought about it the more we wanted to try for another baby. Despite the lack of money, the tiny house, my age etc. I have loved being a mother and I love being surrounded by kids. I enjoy their company and I don't mind the bad days because the good outweighs it all ten times over. I really want Alex to grow up with a brother or sister to play with. For fun and games when they are kids together and for emotional support and friendship as they grow up. I would love a house full of children but sadly it's a bit too late for that (not through want of trying though). We started trying again at Christmas 2006 - this time we were full of hope that it would happen, maybe not quickly but eventually. And here we are almost a year on from then and still no sign of a pregnancy on the horizon. I am surrounded by bumps again and although I am not as desperate as last time I am beginning to feel those old pangs when I see pregnant women. So it is decision time. Do we go and have some more tests again to see whether there is a problem or do we wait it out again? I am getting old (38 soon) so I really feel time is starting to run out on me.

One thing I do know is that I am so incredibly grateful just to have Alex in my life and that if he is all I get then I am still one very very lucky woman. And I will enjoy my life with him rather than fretting about what might or might not be.

More photos of France

Budgeting and Space Saving Tips - Part One

I live in a teeny tiny house and on a teeny tiny budget so I have got a few tips for those in similar circumstance that I would like to share.

Sand and Water Table- instead of buying large, expensive sandpits I got two cheap washing up bowls and filled one with playsand and one with water. Along with a plastic cup, small plastic milk carton, some spoons and a sieve I made a sand and water area for Alex on our very small patio. I placed them on the step so he could reach it standing up. If you don't have steps then a bit of wood on some old bricks would do just as well. It can all be taken apart and stacked over winter in a cupboard or shed and takes up no room at all. Grand total - £1.00 for two bowls and £2.00 for the sand.

Paddling Pool - when Alex was coming up to a year old we had a really hot summer. I couldn't find a cheap paddling pool anywhere as they all sold out so I improvised. I got his old baby bath out of the loft, filled it with warm water and some bath toys and hey presto - a teeny tiny pool. Actually it was just right for his age as he could sit up and be supported in it but it wasnt so big he could topple over in it. This probably only works for young kids before they can really walk well.

Play kitchen - I don't have enough room for a play kitchen in our main living area and even less room in our kitchen. Alex is just at the age now where he enjoys imaginative play and he loves doing cooking. I got some of our smaller pans, some wooden spoons, plastic picnic plates and cutlery, an old mini-cereal box, an old milk carton (plastic) and some jam jars full of dried pasta. All this I put on top of a tray on his toy box which serves as the work station/counter top for his cooking. I am planning to make him his own apron this weekend and also I think I might try and sew a few circles onto plain cloth to look like hotplates etc. to drape over the toy box. The other way of making a toy kitchen work top/cooker is to get a cheap wooden box or crate, turn it over and either paint on all the hotplates, knobs etc onto the flat bottom or if you are handy add a few cheap knobs for real twiddling. You could even add a back plate made of wood and add some hooks for cups or tea towels etc. Much nicer than those giant plastic things you see.

Foraging

Alex and I spent a large part of the weekend blackberry and cobnut (hazelnut) picking in the little country lanes around our village. We came home happy, bags full of loot and with hands and faces covered in black sticky juice. I never knew you could eat cobnuts raw but they taste a bit like crunchy peas and they are delicious in salads (thanks to Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall and a timely article in the Guardian). I am also letting them dry out before roasting them so I can use them in cakes etc around Christmas time. I think the rainy summer has helped the fruit this year as everywhere seems to be bursting with produce. Apparently it is a great year for apples as well. One thing we do well in England is apples - tart, crispy, bursting with juice. I can't wait for harvest time. I dream of one day having a garden big enough for some fruit trees; plums, apples, pears. My grandfather's garden in Scotland had a great orchard and some of my happiest memories are picking fruit and making crumble with Grandma. My parents have a large garden with fruit trees so I hope Alex enjoys his time at their house doing much the same things as I did. It is so immensely satisfying to grow, pick and cook your own. My Mum also makes great jam and chutney from their fruit trees which I treasure like liquid gold.

I heart France

I love France. I spent many summer holidays there as a kid and I also spent a year working in Aix en Provence in my early twenties. My parents live over in South West France in the Gers for half the year so we still go fairly regularly. Here are some of my favourite photos from recent holidays.

Baby Block

My first attempt at a handmade baby gift. Made with a mix of kiddy fabrics and hand embroidered with her name. I hope baby Neve likes it. I enjoyed making it for her.

Not a Domestic Goddess

I am not what you would call a domestic goddess. I try but I am a bit too relaxed (lazy?) to be a Martha Stewart type. I would rather play with Alex than do domestic chores and I would rather be outside than stuck indoors. I can cook sort of. I make decent casseroles and salads, a great cottage pie and soups. I am trying to eat healthily and I always make all our own meals from scratch. The one thing I don't do is bake. Mainly because both Chris and I have a weakness for cakes and biscuits so I try not to have any in the house. However this weekend after getting fed up with the overflowing fruit bowl I decided to make banana loaf cake a la Delia Smith. It is the easiest recipe and very quick. And the result - gooey gorgeous banana cake. Next up Norwegian Apple Cake.

I'm a Happy Camper

We went on our first family camping holiday at the end of August and managed to pick about the only weekend of hot sunny weather this whole summer. Alex absolutely loved it. Even Chris enjoyed himself despite having been resolutely anti-camping all his adult life. (He had been traumatised by too many camping holidays in the rain stuck in a caravan with parents mid-divorce!)

We went to a very nice little campsite called Burgh Castle (although it is surrounded by large caravan parks) in the Norfolk Broads at the end of August. It was pretty quiet with one end under the trees reserved just for tents. We borrowed a friends four man tent and packed up the boot of our very small car (VW Polo) and off we went. It is possible to go camping as a family and not have to hire a truck to do it! We met up with Chris's brother and sister and all Alex's cousins at the campsite. Chris's sister brought all the cooking gear and tables etc in her car so we did have some help on that front. It was great as all the kids played together running around in the sunshine and in the evenings we all gathered around for a BBQ of home-reared pork sausages and salads etc.

We spent the days either at the beach or wandering along the river banks watching the birdlife. Coming home from a Sunday lunch at the local pub we watched the sunset over the reedbeds and listened to the geese honking overhead. Bliss.

Handmade sleepy cat

I made this little fellow for my friend's 9 month old baby boy inspired by a library book about a tabby cat that Alex and I have been reading. Cotton flowery fabric, polyfill stuffing and an embroidered felt face. I like this as very simple and easy to handsew in front of the tv or in bed. You can add the expression to give it character. I was going to make one for Alex but my next project for him is to make a stuffed toy car as he loves his wheels!

A Handmade Home

I recently caught the crafting bug. Or at least regained the crafting bug.

I think it's mainly due to the fact that I am at home more and being a nesting mother I feel like surrounding myself with cosy, comfy homemade things. I want to create a relaxed family home full of kids paintings, handmade blankets and cushions. Mismatched crockery, jars full of shells, flowers from the garden. Full of life and colour and meaning.

Crafting is a much maligned artform. It really doesn't get nearly enough respect. I think of it as an old tradition of frugal living, of making things from scaps in order to save money. It is also about love and the pleasure of making things for other people . It is about family and traditions and passing on heirlooms. About using your hands and brain to make things rather than simply running down to the shop. It's about expressing yourself and being creative.

I enjoyed art when I was a kid and I was always making paper houses and miniature gardens and painting. Then as a working adult I forgot the simple pleasure of making things. I was too busy working and commuting and trying to keep up with friends and family. The one thing I have kept up is photography although I only have a cheap digital compact. Taking photos for this blog has been a great exercise in improving my eye and technique. There is such beauty in every day things and the memories of such ordinary happy stuff fade away unless they are snapped to preserve them.

I am also inspired on a daily basis by the fabulous craft blogs there are floating around the internet. It seems to me to be a wondeful kind, sharing, beautiful, inspirational and supportive community. I will link to the ones I find most inspiring as I go along.

And now I have also got back into making things. Especially with fabric. I treated myself to some superbuzzy fabric at the beginning but now I try to use thrifted and recycled fabric instead. I started making tote bags to put the groceries in so I could stop using plastic bags. Then I progressed to some lavender hearts as presents for my Mum and mother -in-law. NextI made some baby toys (blocks and stuffed cats). WIPs are a stuffed car (he likes things with wheels on them!) for Alex and some more complex animals such as a stuffed dog for my sister-in-laws new baby. I like making stuff for people. It is far more satisfying than buying it and I hope that they enjoy receiving it. Finding the time to do it - now that is another matter altogether. The odd nap time and the odd late night are about it. I am going to challenge myself to make one thing a week and take it from there.

The Seaside

I love the coast. I love rocky places, bleak windswept beaches, small sandy coves, city beaches and small English town beaches. I like them in winter in the rain and in summer in the sun. I do prefer them empty. I like the space and the solitude.

I feel so happy and relaxed at the seaside. I can't put my finger on why exactly except that maybe it's because I spent my childhood summer holidays at a beautiful but cold beach called Lunan Bay on the east coast of Scotland. We used to stay in a tiny hamlet of wooden fisherman's huts and old caravans. My cousins and I would run around freely fishing in rockpools and looking for rubies on the beach. I loved it there. My brother and I were the fifth generation of our family to holiday there. I cant wait to take Alex and make it a sixth.

But then most people love the sea don't they? I know my Dad dreams of a place by the sea and so did my Grandad. My brother lives by the sea and sails so I know it runs in our family. I guess I am one of the few that likes the beach in the middle of winter though. The wilder the better. I love the sea crashing against rocks, the solitude and the wind.

I am lucky in that I have been able to travel around the world for my job. Travel is badly paid but it definitely has its perks. I have visited stunning beaches from Canada to Greece but funnily enough it is the grey, pebbly British beaches I am most fond of. Candy coloured beach huts to shelter from the wind and rain. Piers and promenades from Victorian times. Saltwater marshes and creeks. Sand dunes and spits. Deckchairs and winter gardens. Lighthouses and fishermans huts. Old fashioned ice-cream parlours and bandstands. Cliff top walks and busy yachting marinas. Fishing fleets and busy working harbours. The sound of sails flapping against masts and the smell of brine in the air. Crabbing with buckets. Sandcastles and kite flying. Heaven.

Thrifting

One of my favourite hobbies is thrifting or charity shopping. Living on a budget and trying to live by the mantra of reduce, re-use and recycle makes thrifting a regular activity for me. But I also get a huge buzz of satisfaction from my finds and the cheaper the better. Can you tell I was never the designer label type of girl?! I don't actually like shopping at all but sometimes I pop into my local charity shops to have a root around. Although there are about 8 shops locally they are not what I call cheap anymore. Since E-bay there are plenty who know how to value collectables properly. However the kind of stuff I look for; fabric, books and toys are not that valuable so I can still afford them.

I am trying to build up a wooden toy collection for Alex. I was leaning this way before the Chinese toy recall this last month mainly because I notice that Alex much prefers his wooden toys to his plastic ones. Although I have to confess that as he is car mad he does have quite a metal car collection (mostly thrifted). I just hate the plastic stuff and especially the stuff with logos like Postman Pat etc on them. The wooden toys feel better in your hands, kids seem to prefer them, they last longer, they age nicely and I prefer the look of them around the house.

So far I have bought wooden bead game (£1), a wooden elephant (£1), childrens wood dominoes set (50p), wooden blocks for a village (£1), the ELC wooden farm set (£2), a wooden circus train (20p) and a wooden pairs game (50p). I have succumbed to some playmobil cowboys and camper van as they were so cheap and I loved playmobil as a kid. The other thing I buy is old kids books, mainly for the cute illustrations. So far a Babar book, Richard Scarry, Mark Twain's Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer and some crafting with kids books.

Introductions

Well hello and welcome.

My name is Ruth, and this is my blog. I am a mother first and foremost and this blog is going to be about my family, my home, my travels and life in general.

I live with my partner Chris and my son Alex who is two this summer. We had to wait a long time for our boy and it was a hard and rocky road before he arrived in July 2005. We battled with infertility and miscarriage but I am one of the lucky ones. I had my son and I adore being a mother. Even the tough bits are worth it. I am completely and hopelessly crazy about my boy. He is such a great kid, happy, easy going, cute, funny. He is the most important thing in my life so will probably rabit on about him all the time!

Before I had Alex I worked in travel and tourism and was lucky enough to spend a lot of time travelling overseas. I have always had wanderlust and even now I am a mother there is nothing I like more than heading off for the weekend somewhere by the sea. I love this beautiful planet of ours and I love geography. I have a huge collection of maps, travel books and guide books and I love to see and experience new places. I still work part time two days a week for a travel company to pay the bills.

Things that make me especially happy are; the seaside, beach huts, summer, campervans, fabric, handmade stuff, colours, and especially my son's little sandy toes at the beach - hence the name Summer and Sandy Toes.