Happy Mothers Day

Spring is almost here - daffodils are cheering me along.

The longest and most beautiful swing I have ever seen.


Purple red and yellow.


My day - Pain au chocolat and orange juice for breakfast:time to read the Sunday papers: tulips from my boys: phone calls to the Grandmothers: walking in a local garden all overgrown and romantic: a sunny picnic: swinging Alex under a lebanese cedar pine: spring is in the air: home to a fire and playing games: a Sunday roast cooked by Chris: bathtime: apple crumble and ice cream all round: early to bed with a cup of hot chocolate and a good book: watching my bump wriggle all over the place and dreaming of my little girl to be: Being a mother - just bliss.

Remembering my good friend B who lost her mother and best friend last year.

I love being a mother. It wasn't something I ever really wanted as I preferred travelling and being footloose and fancy free to domestic bliss. Then my first nephew was born (on my side of the family) and he had my mother's eyes. And something just clicked and I knew that that was what I wanted. I was terribly broody for a long time. I wanted a child when I was 30 and I finally managed to have my son a few months before turning 36. I used to cry at babies in supermarkets and gaze longingly at bumps and strollers. It was heartbreaking for a long long time.

The first few years were taken up with trying to find a job that didn't involve 4 hours daily commuting (just across London!) and then working for a year in a new job to get my maternity allowance. To then have that job move across London and being back to a 4 hour commute again! Finally after 2 years of this to-ing and fro-ing I managed to wangle a position working from home and we could begin. Only it then took us 3 years and many tests to finally get pregnant and stay pregnant. I thinking having to wait so long and having a tough time getting to motherhood has made me appreciate it so very much. And I feel lucky in that as not everyone gets to feel that way. I knew it was what my heart desired and I was one of the lucky ones who managed to get there in the end. Not everyone does and for them Mothers Day must be a terribly cruel day to celebrate.

When I had Alex I was on a total rush of maternal love. I had an incredible mummy high and it has never gone away to this day. I look at my son and my heart skips a beat. I watch his dark eyelashes curl on his cheeks when he sleeps. I watch him laugh and giggle every day and he makes me feel ridiculously happy. I miss him like crazy when I don't see him for a couple of hours. I have never spent the night apart from him. He makes me laugh every day. He makes me melt every day. Yesterday when I came downstairs with the washing he said: "Mummy I love you. You are the best mummy in the whole world". He is 2 and 1/2 yrs old! I can't get enough of him. His twinkly hazel eyes, his quizzical eyebrows, his chuckle, his cute little legs, his freshly shampooed hair, his sweet nature, his love of playing with his friends, his cries of "chase me chase me", the delight he gets from jumping up and down on our bed. He is so good natured and loving and happy. I love you too Pickle. You make me the happiest Mummy in the world.

And as for my mother - I am very lucky. She is my role model and I love her to bits. She is warm, loving, caring, chatty, fun, friendly, kind, a fantastic cook, seamsmistress and homemaker. I had a very loving and happy childhood and I hope that I manage to re-create that for my kids. As with all mothers she can drive me potty at times and we do have different ideas about the world but at the same time I know we are scarily alike. She is also the best grandmother a child could have and for that I am doubly blessed. Thanks Mum - I love you too!